In the 19th century, the gentleman in question could be referred to as a kochanek [‘lover’], meaning ‘a loving or beloved person’. Meanwhile, if we look into Józef Korzeniowski’s novel Tadeusz Bezimienny (Tadeusz the Nameless), whose protagonist’s determination and courage made him ‘the whole regimen’s kochanek’, what we encounter is simply a word for ‘a favourite’. In his book Pokochawszy (Having Fallen In Loved), Professor Jerzy Bralczyk explains:
While kochanek and kochanka [‘lover’] used to be beautiful and lofty words – ‘[f]or those like us who love so well, / Sufficient is a hermit’s cell’– with time, kochanek started to emphasise a certain illegal quality of the relationship.
[‘Forefathers’ Eve’ quotation, trans. Charles S. Kraszewski]
In Maria Dąbrowska’s Nights and Days [Noce i dnie], Bogumił addresses Barbara as moja kochana [‘my love’]. Meanwhile, Professor Jan Miodek points out that the word kobieta [‘woman’] likely derives from the Tuscan dialect and refers to a being who enjoys touching and cuddling. ‘Hence, the aspect of loving and touching is inscribed into the woman on the etymological level’, he highlights in an interview for Gazeta Wyborcza (The Electoral Gazette).
In the Polish language, kochanie [‘loving’] is underlined with passion, unlike lubienie, which only denotes liking, even though it’s the latter word that’s historically closest to miłość [‘love’] (as visible in the Russian любовь or the German Liebe, both of which mean miłość, ‘love’). Adam Mickiewicz distinguished between the two as he wrote about Maryla: ‘Though one would tell her a hundred times I love, / She did not even say I like’. In Konrad Wallenrod, the adjective luby [‘beloved’] was a synonym to miły [‘nice’, ‘kind’, ‘dear’], but as a noun it means the same as ukochany [‘lover’, ‘darling’], as in Aleksander Fredro:
Once upon a time a young girl said pleasantly to her lover: ‘Get me, dear [luby], a small canary.’ But instead each one today says: ‘If you don’t wish my destruction, then fetch me a crocodile, dear [luby]!’
[trans. Harold B. Segel]
Etymologically, luby [‘dear’, ‘beloved’] doesn’t fall far from lubieżny [‘lewd’], a word that in the 16th century indicated someone nice and beautiful but has by now ceased to have pleasant connotations. Similarly, one can convey the fact of falling in love by saying one has zadurzył się [‘become infatuated’] with someone, which might evoke the correct – at least in terms of language – association with being durny [‘foolish’] (the proto-Slavic *duriti meant ‘to induce a state of strong agitation, intoxication, dazing’, while in the 16th century durować meant ‘to go crazy, not to be in one’s right mind’).
Terms of endearment