Poignant (& Peculiar) Personal Ads From Interwar Poland
Risqué, romantic, sincere… or perhaps witty? Here, we take a look at personal ads written by Poles between the world wars. The search for love seems to have been very different back then, but in many ways, it feels quite familiar.
Swatka (Matchmaker), a literary matrimonial magazine published in Kraków during the Interwar period, coined the following definition of marriage:
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Marriage is a musical composition in which the wife sings and the husband accompanies, but it is very difficult to achieve harmony, and sometimes an orchestra emerges that consists solely of drums.
The number of weddings that took place annually in the Second Polish Republic ranged from 336,000 in 1919 to 279,000 in 1938 (for comparison, 255,400 formal unions were registered in 1990, and only 192,600 in 2017, despite an increase in the total population by several million). As a result of the First World War, many single, divorced and widowed people found their soulmate thanks to matrimonial adverts, which appeared regularly in well-respected national and local newspapers as well as magazines published by matrimonial offices.
A great deal of material for an analysis of the language and social customs of the Interwar period is provided by Fortuna Versal, which had branches in all major Polish towns and cities, and also abroad. Głos Serca (The Voice of the Heart) declared that it helped several thousand couples tie the knot every year. There was also Vox, Przyszłość (The Future), and Swatka… Let’s take a closer look at them.
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‘Fortuna Versal’, 1928, no. 8, photo: collection of Jagiellonian Digital Library
She is usually seeking someone ‘extremely intelligent’, presenting herself as ‘extremely shapely’. Statistically, she is most often blonde and relatively pretty, although sometimes she openly admits: ‘my beauty is a matter of taste’. If she’s a young maiden – sometimes stressing her purity – she emphasises that she comes from a good family and offers a beautiful layette or ample dowry.
The slightly more mature lady has a past as pure as crystal, and tries to tempt admirers with her large house and plot of first-rate land. The widow is usually cheerful and ‘fond of affectionate words’, and is ‘unable to hide her desire to be caressed’. She owns a furnished flat and receives her deceased husband’s pension. If a woman happens to be divorced, it was by no means her fault.
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I am generously endowed by nature, both physically and spiritually, and am seeking a friend-guardian – a wealthy, extremely intelligent man with a penchant for analysis and psychological issues.
She has a very clear idea of what she wants – most often a husband with a good job. Bureaucrats, military officers ‘ranging from lieutenant to major’ and government officials are warmly welcome, but she won’t turn up her nose at a good craftsman, railwayman or merchant. The desired qualities are – in addition to the aforementioned intelligence – impeccable manners, kindness, generosity, refinement and honesty. However, with the latter quality one should be careful, for a painfully honest individual might appear:
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I’m a butcher. I’m asking for kind support. I’m seeking a wife with 100,000 in cash, undergarments and furniture. I sell tripe. Józef Kotlarczyk, Górna Wilda.
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A man and a woman embracing while sitting outdoors, 1920-1940, photo: National Library Polona
As for the man, he’s usually handsome, well-built, either young or more experienced (but with a fortune), energetic, sensitive, kind… It’s odd that he’s single, but it’s just like for the ladies – it’s not his own fault. His preferences are also very specific: he would like to find a woman with ‘very shapely legs’, ‘preferably a blonde with abundant hair’. Ideally, she would be intelligent, but not a know-it-all, with a dowry worth ‘one hundred million’ and offer ‘many positive qualities, if only external ones’. However, there are some men who delight in ‘spiritual acrobats, physical giants’, or who simply seek peace:
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I will marry the ugliest woman so as not to feel jealous.
Looking at the matrimonial adverts, it’s impossible not to have the impression that the world is simply beautiful. Few of the gentlemen are brave enough to admit that they’re ‘ugly and ill-mannered’, as declared by the author of an advert signed: ‘Not as frightening a devil as people make him out to be’. Honesty didn’t pay off in this case, however, because judging by the number of adverts repeated in Fortuna Versal, he wasn’t quick to find matrimonial bliss.
Ladies are just as talented as the men when it comes to idealising their appearance. It’s incredibly rare to see an advert like the one that reads ‘an office clerk of advanced age (temporarily made redundant), dull and boring like a November day, with a withered heart, not excessively corpulent, very lonely and unhappy’ (signed: ‘The Red Flame’).
In their description of the world of social and matrimonial adverts, Halina and Tadeusz Zgółków point out that representatives of both genders have ‘a slightly unrealistic profile – one that is virtual, wishful, hoped-for, dreamed-of.’ It’s no secret that self-presentation is the art of manipulating the impression one makes on others, and the condensed form of personal ads makes it possible for only a few features of one’s appearance or personality to be exposed. Fortuna Versal warned people to write ads in such a way that they ‘do not come across as boasting’. Nevertheless, the newspapers were teeming with epithets, comparisons and hyperboles.
‘I’m looking for substance in life’
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‘Vox’, vol. 3, no. 14, Nov./Dec. 1936, ed. E. Krzyżanowski, photo: National Library Polona
The image of longed-for love is no less intriguing. There are those who seek ‘the other half of their soul’ and possess ‘everything necessary to conjure up a wonderful fairy tale’.
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An artist wishes to meet an independent woman of extraordinary qualities of spirit and beauty, in order to find inspiration and a model for creativity.
There are also those who view life ‘not through the rose-coloured lenses of dreams, but as a road full of thorns and hardship’. The women are waiting for a ‘man straight out of a novel’. The men have their feet firmly planted on the ground:
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Walking behind a plough, writer toiling for the improvement of Poland, thinker, creator of a literary movement, a 40-morgen farm, personal income, lawyer, 56 years old, separated. In need of a housewife, passionate, believing in Polishness, educated, highly desirable, wealthy. Correspondence may be sent to: Village mayor, Milanowizna, Filipów Post Office, Suwałki district.
Some people don’t have very high expectations:
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I will marry a polite gentleman who kisses wonderfully.
Quite the opposite for others:
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I am seeking a woman with unusual proclivities. Priority will be given to those of an exceptionally despotic character.
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From the advertisements column of ‘Vox’, r. 3, no. 14, Nov./Dec. 1936, ed. E. Krzyżanowski, photo: National Library Polona
Matrimonial offices were like matchmakers in folk culture: they gathered information, negotiated and made an offer to a potential spouse. Press advertisements took over the role of intermediary in matching couples.
Magazines, especially those published during the Interwar period, also had an educational function. Przyszłość, advertising itself as the only matrimonial periodical of the Zagłębie Dąbrowskie and Śląsk regions, advised readers in its first issue on how to make a husband happy: you cannot ‘form him’, because he’s not a cake. A condition for happiness is to stay organised (you must not lose your keys, you must be punctual – dinner, for example, must always be served on time). When he talks about military and romantic conquests, you should view him as a hero, and you shouldn’t make a scene when he goes to a restaurant with his colleagues instead of having dinner at home (‘the house is a point of departure for every man trapped in the fetters of marriage’).
The column was supposed to reverse the roles in the next issue, but unfortunately only the first issue of Przyszłość is in the Jagiellonian Digital Library.
The matrimonial newspapers had a mission! The monthly magazine Vox was waging a battle against loneliness:
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We are raising a banner to combat the disorganisation of society, for the foundation of morality, health and vigour in society is a maximum number of social units, commonly referred to as a marital couple, family nest, or most often ‘home’.
‘I’ll give you a nice surname for a million’
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A woman and a man embracing outdoors, 1910-1930, postcard, photo: National Library Polona
Let’s not fool ourselves – it’s not always about love. Marriage is sometimes simply a transaction. The financial situation of candidates is one of the most frequent elements of personal ads, especially in the 1920s and early 1930s – over time, the authors become more demanding. Ladies are prowling for ‘well-to-do’ partners or those with ‘a little cash’. Gentlemen don’t beat around the bush and provide specific numbers, for example from 4,000zł upwards.
The matrimonial magazines weren’t acting selflessly, either. To place an advert in Fortuna Versal, one had to pay 15gr per word (equivalent to half a loaf of bread), while in Głos Serca, up to 50 words cost 10zł, and up to 100 words – 15zł. The average monthly salary in the Second Polish Republic in the 1930s was 250zł.
However, those who think money was all that mattered are wrong. It wasn’t so uncommon for men to declare that money wasn’t important to them, and was even an obstacle in the development of a relationship:
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A dowry is absolutely unnecessary, for I wish to marry a poor woman.
Just as often there appeared more ambitious proposals – such as this one from ‘A Blue-Eyed Fellow’:
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A young idealist, photographer by profession, 24 years old, very handsome, friendly, dark-blond hair, medium height, from Lwów but not currently living there, is looking for a young lady, well-educated, with pre-war virtues, able to help him open his own photography studio or lease the studio where he works. He is also a passionate portraitist and landscape painter. Whichever lady shall give him her hand in order to travel along the bright path of life with him will be showered with the true love of a caring husband.
Someone wishes to marry a woman who will publish his book; someone else is asking for his medical studies to be funded. A certain dentist yearns to meet ‘a female doctor of the Roman Catholic faith, a Polish woman, unmarried, blonde’, or simply ‘a woman with such a fortune that it would be worth giving up his dental practice and devoting himself to married life’. A philosopher from Rzeszów is seeking ‘a woman of unremarkable appearance who could provide any form of subsistence for him – with the aim of supporting his intellectual work, focused on the rebirth of humanity’.
Spiritual development is important: while a well-known female artist does not rule out marriage to an energetic and wealthy impresario, a theatregoer invites a lady to accompany him to the theatre or cinema – every day! An amateur violinist would like to meet a musical lady ‘to make music together for pleasure’. The price includes travelling: both to nearby destinations (‘Attention! A citizen of the world with an extraordinary temperament, fluent in foreign languages, would like to meet a gentleman who will take her to Ciechocinek’) and ones further away (‘American ladies! A dashing chap with lovely eyes, in dance competitions always takes first prize. He’s completely broke – such a pity! So, he’d like to go to New York City’).
‘May your voice resound in my life’
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‘The Voice of My Heart: Boston’ by Andrzej Włast, Warsaw: Gebethner and Wolff, 1931, photo: National Library Polona
The formula is always the same: somebody is seeking somebody. However, deviations from this rule sometimes appear, and then the conditional tense is used: if (‘you can be an extraordinary slave’), then (‘get in touch’). And sometimes it’s ‘the more the merrier’ – for example, three cousins looking for husbands (a blonde, a brunette and a redhead). Adverts could be written on someone else’s behalf; sometimes a mother tries to find a nice daughter-in-law, or a father seeks a decent son-in-law. The adverts are quite often written in the third person singular (or plural) – perhaps in order to create an illusion of objectivity or credibility?
For a matrimonial advert not to get lost amongst hundreds of others, it must attract attention somehow. There are various tactics: some people create variety through length – from laconic messages (‘Beautiful, resourceful woman sought for marriage’) to complex poems – while others let their imaginations run wild. The latter don’t follow the advice given in Fortuna Versal in 1931 to ‘avoid nonsense and clichés, and not be too witty’ and to eschew the rhymed form, which ‘comes across as tasteless’. Especially when the rhythm and style are very weak:
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A woman’s beauty doesn’t solely allure me, but also her manners in high society. And so, ladies of grace and mystique, if you’d like to become acquainted with my muscular physique, send me an offer – I’m waiting for you! And together we’ll embark on an adventure quite new.
Age is also of some importance, even if only secondary (‘If any ladies resembling Balzac heroines wish to have a young, handsome pageboy, write to set up a meeting’). What counts is mystery – some kind of elaborate metaphor, literary quote or allusion. Something that will cause the heart to beat faster. Sometimes a perfectly matched couple turns out to be an apparent contradiction, such as the combination of romanticism with pragmatism:
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I’m looking for a ‘leopard’ with the courage of a lion and the heart of a pigeon, to go on walks and excursions, or even a trip to France (at my expense). Knowledge of spelling obligatory, knowledge of French I can supplement. (Lion Tamer)
As we can see, personal ads published in newspapers long ago can be a rewarding subject of analysis not only for linguists, but also for ethnographers, sociologists and psychologists.
Originally written in Polish, translated by Scotia Gilroy, Jan 2021
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