My father spent the last two weeks in intensive care. I was reading to him. I took out Hesse’s Narcissus and Goldmund from his bookcase. It was nice at first, before I got to the part when the epidemic starts, I had forgotten how much death there was. It was supposed to be a different kind of reading.
FL: Did he read poetry? He performed on stage with Wisława Szymborska and recorded an album inspired by her poetry after her death.
AS: He wasn’t too much into poetry, or so it seemed to me. Looking for books to read to him in the hospital, I found a volume of poems by Alberto Caeiro – one of the many heteronyms that Fernando Pessoa took. I didn’t expect to find him on the bookshelf. The first poem I came across is as follows:
Fear of death? / I will wake up differently / Maybe a body, maybe a continuation, maybe renewed / But I will wake up. / If not even atoms sleep, why should I alone slumber.
It's a combination of my father’s materialistic philosophy and my philosophy. Mine is oriented towards the world in a more spiritual way, saying that it’s not the end at all. It was very symbolic. Maybe he was reading poetry after all? But it was his secret. He had an area of life that he left only to himself. My father took part in Dream Project [Projekt Marzenie]; it’s an auction of photos of various prominent people, the money raised goes towards realising the dreams of children from poor families. A short interview was recorded with him at the time, in which he said, ‘I didn't develop a dream mechanism, as all my dreams came true. Because for me, ma’am, to dream – is to live.’ But he also said that he had a secret dream that he kept only to himself. It was clear from the context that these were magical child’s fantasies, romantic dreams. It was not very often that he wanted to show his sensitive side.
FL: How did Tomasz Stańko listen to music?
AS: He didn’t listen to much music at home, but he had great equipment. He had a friend, Thomas Conrad, editor of the Stereophile audiophile magazine. Dad most enjoyed listening to music in the same way that he read books, which is to say, piecemeal. When iPods appeared on the market, he immediately bought himself a player with a capacious disk. He uploaded Bartók, Red Hot Chilli Peppers, fado, James Brown and, of course, jazz classics: John Coltrane and Cecil Taylor. He loved the shuffle option, that sudden jumping through artists, genres and moods. I’d also add that he appreciated the artistry of pop productions, although he didn’t listen to them at home.
FL: What role did cinema play in Tomasz Stańko's life?
AS: He respected the classics like Louis Malle and Godard. But on a daily basis he preferred a good thriller. And nature films, about wildlife. Sometimes he’d even cite scenes of animal life, mainly of predators, in conversations to illustrate arguments. Crime dramas and nature films were good for practising long notes. Apparently, this practice is rather tedious, but extremely important for a trumpeter. It took him at least an hour each day.