As fate would have it, Irzykowski and his loved ones left their flat and spent the period of the battle for Warsaw in the Sejm (parliamentary) building, which was reduced to smoking ruins as the days passed and German bombardment intensified. That fortnight or so is a record of hope surging and fading, of feelings of strength and moments of profound self-abasement, of savouring the well-deserved defeat of an unprepared state, and of acute physical fear for one’s own physical survival. It was also a time of rumours glorifying minor victories, exaggerating the scale of defeats and highlighting the wickedness and weakness of commanders. On 19 September, Irzykowski writes in Dziennik, his published diary:
This morning, I took a closer look at the damages and this time, I was impressed by them, and was at the same time mortified politically. The rotunda of the Sejm, a nest of the remnants of parliamentarism, has survived, the parliamentary chairs are intact, the tribune is in one piece too, and a parliamentary session could be called without delay. But I shuddered when I saw the hallway joining the old and the new Sejm buildings pierced through, so that the ceiling is nature’s sky above, and one can see stars here at night. Something of the infinite is blowing in.
The daily grind of petty efforts, fears and sacrifices resembles the ‘circling of ants over a trampled anthill’. It is interesting that the spirit of eternity – the absolute, the wind of history? – should be felt by someone as deeply rational as Irzykowski, who is too anti-Romantic to feel the spirit of history blowing from every street corner. However, these are not the only feelings. Above all, he feels ‘a purely physiological shock, more imminent than reflection; I myself experienced it when something fell very close to me, my nerves shuddered, and my thought trembled helplessly against this backdrop’. The trembling of the body is intertwined with geopolitical reflection: ‘In a word, defeat – a fourth partition of Poland, [who] is no longer one who can take on responsibility, but has become an object of diplomatic negotiations’. Irzykowski wonders what to do about this watershed historical event, the meaning of which was grasped neither by his contemporaries nor by himself.
‘War, change my heart!’ he exclaims, ‘Prepare me for the ultimate.’